Comment

I started typing this comment to Dan but figured I might as well post it since it ended up being a book.

I also struggle with what exactly is being asked of me in all of this. I know that we are allowed to enjoy the things we have while here on this earth, but I believe that the call to follow Christ should be having more of an impact on how we spend our money along with our other resources, gifts and talents. We, very often, don't look much different than the family next door in the way we spend our money. The disciples and early church sold their possessions and gave it away to others as they had need. Does that really characterize us? Are we willing to get rid of our "comforts" of life to feed someone that doesn't have enough to eat? I think your last sentence is the epitome of our American capitalistic culture. We have spent the blessings intended for so many other people because we have bought into the American dream that we deserve it and have every right to get everything we could ever want. "Damn it I worked hard for it and I deserve it" runs about as counter to the kingdom of God as you can get yet we(as the church) have been blinded by this "American Dream" philosophy just as badly as the rest of the culture around us. Until we begin to understand the magnitude of the wealth we have squandered and do something about it, I don't think we will ever see people added to the kingdom daily as they were in the early church. It sounds absurd to think that a handful of people would actually sell their stuff, move in together, and share financial responsibilities so they could give more away to others in need, yet I have actually seen it happening in small pockets here and there. There are people that are actually taking this call seriously and living it out. To share with others to the point that nothing we have is actually ours is the call of the Gospel, yet we would be seen as fools in the eyes of the world for it. We are just too selfish... and I am one of the worst...

Conviction

Just had our community meal tonight...roast, potatoes, carrots, onions, corn, biscuits, fresh sliced tomatoes, cherry cheesecake muffins, and molasses cookies. WOW is about all I can say right now...I must say that the cookies were my nemesis...but anyway...

So I've been struggling lately with the fact that I bought that motorcycle, on top of the fact that I still haven't sold my old one...then there was this Sunday's message that Scott shared.
As I listened to it, it was almost like I was talking to myself. I was hearing Scott say many of the things that I had actually shared with him the past several months about my struggles with wealth, poverty, and the role of money in the life of someone who calls themselves a disciple of Christ. The more he spoke the more I saw that my lifestyle didn't line up with the ideals I hold about money and giving away more of it in pursuit of a more simple life. My life, as the Holy Spirit examined me, was beginning to look less and less like the new testament model of the church than I thought it did. They sold their possessions and gave to others as they had need. The motorcycle(s) were first on the chopping block and it was clear to me that I was supposed to sell them both immediately. I'm not saying that owning a motorcycle is wrong for everyone, but for me...it was getting in the way of the things I am most passionate about. It was a pure want...no need about it...simply for my own pleasure and nothing more. I just can't see myself spending that kind of money on something for mere pleasure when there are so many other constructive things I could do with it.

Scott raised questions that I have also considered like, is my house too big? Could downsizing allow me to give away more of what I've been given? How far is too far? How little is too little? How much is too much? I don't know the answers to such questions, but I do know that right now I am going to do what I've been asked. I hope I can say the same thing when He calls me to give up something else down the line. Bottom line, I need Him to have all of me and the motorcycle was getting in the way even though I really don't want to get rid of it I know I have to. I guess it's just one more step on this journey.

Lord, please allow the bikes to sell...quickly. Bring all glory to yourself through everything Sara and I do with the resources you've poured out upon us.

Neighbors

I have been pretty discouraged about us not really having many opportunties to get to know our neighbors this summer. I mean our meal night is awesome and we are loving it, but it is mostly people that already follow Jesus. We are longing for meaningful relationships with people that don't know Jesus here around our home, but opporunities for that seem to be evading us...

so we were out on a walk the other day and one of our neighbors, Lisa, was on her way back to her house so we stopped to chat for a few mintues. We all shared about how our school years have started and so I went ahead and brought up the barbecue that Sara and I had been talking about having and she seemed very receptive to it. I hope before it gets cold we can get that underway...people that move out toward the country seem to like not having the closeness among neighbors that we are actually longing for...I don't think they know what their missing.

Tonight Sara, Macee and I had a nice evening as we went out for a bite to eat and then to Wal-Mart for our painting supplies for 2 rooms and the entry way that will be getting fresh paint. Macee was in rare form and we really enjoyed her and our time together tonight. Life is good at the Dilbone's...as long as we let it be...

Good food + bop it = good time

so we had our second meal night last night and it was some great food even if I do say so myself. After the meal we got the "bop it" out and played a little. What a game that bop it...amazing skill and coordination is required for success to be had. It was a good time with even better conversation than last time. It is obvious to Sara and I that people long for a sense of community and belonging...I think it is beginning to take place and we are already craving more.

Eric refered to Romans 12 in a recent post. I was forced to check through it again and refresh my memory of the deep truths it holds. As I read I focused in on:

Love from the center of who you are;don't fake it.
Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to
good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice
playing second fiddle. Don't burn out; keep yourselves
fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master,
cheerfully expectant. Don't quit inhard times; pray
all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive
in hospitality. Bless your enemies; no cursing under
your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when
they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get
along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make
friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.
Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've
got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist
on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the
judging," says God. "I'll take care of it." Our
Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry,
go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him
a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with
goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the
best of evil by doing good.

Romans 12:9-21 The Message

I couldn't help but think of the call that has been placed on our family to live out the truths in these verses. I don't know how many times I have read this passage before, but it is amazing what depth of meaning it has taken on these past two years for us. We have known Christ for most of our lives, but it has only been recently that we accepted Christ's call to truly be His disciples. I am living proof that the Holy Spirit can take anyone from a life of selfcentered, selfish, and egotistical ways of thought and behavior to a life characterized by love...not that I'm there yet, but I have at least begun the journey...

Thank You Jesus, Your grace, peace, and mercy are the only reasons we find ourselves on this incredible journey...we love You

It's getting late but....

I had to get some thoughts down before I go to bed.

I have a cold right now...on Saturday I could barely talk let alone sing. That's kind of a tough thing when you are a teacher and lead worshiper. I'm not being whiney or anything, but it just makes singing very, very hard when you strain for every note so as not to sound like Peter Brady...anyway...

After we practiced this morning the band sat up front and were being served communion by Scott before the service when Macee came up and crawled up in my lap. What an amazing experience, I mean she's done that before, but something this time was different. It wasn't a quick, "I missed you daddy" and then off to the next thing on her list type of thing. It was more like an, "I missed you daddy and I want to be with you and be held by you" kind of experience. As I held her there in that quiet moment I was reminded of my heavenly father and the desires He has to hold me, love on me and experience my love poured back into Him.
It was an experience I don't think I'll soon forget. I have forgotten how much He desires for me to crawl up in His lap and do the very things Macee did for me this morning. To know I am loved...that I am the beloved...I know how remarkable it is to experience that myself, but we, as children of His kingdom, need to do that very thing for the only one truly worthy of that kind of love.

What a valuable lesson learned...thank you Jesus, for showing up even in what could be considered the mundane and commonplace of life to show us what it means to live for You and Your kingdom here on this earth.

Our second community meal is tommorrow night at 6:00pm. Ham and bean soup is on the menu and it smells good already. Stop by if you're in the neighborhood...

Jesus, may our time tommorrow be filled with Your grace, peace and mercy as we serve each other and share with others what you've given to us.

It's about time

I have finally settled into this routine...it feels good, right, and productive...and yes I know I was a little dramatic in my last post, but come on...sometimes it is really necessary to make things out to me much more horrifyingly catastrophic than they really are, that way I seem to be much tougher than I really am for making it through such a harrowing experience.

so anyway...

We had our first "meal night" tonight...almost on a whim, but it was good. Good friends and great discussion about nothing(for the most part). I look forward to more of that. The chili and macaroni were flowing like milk and honey tonight at the Dilbone's and it was good...Sara is definitely going to regret making that big of a pot of chili because I will be "wreaking" havoc for the next several days as I continue to partake of such fine cuisine.
Sara and I prayed before anyone showed up that it would be a time of true communion with each other and with our creator as we build into each others lives in authentic community. Wow...that sounded much more spiritual than it really seemed...yet He is in us and we are in Him which is something you just can't turn on or off, so I guess it really isn't "over spiritualizing" it. Everything we do is for His glory and for his renown...at least that is my prayer...

Lord, bless this time as we continue to share these meals with people You love and people we love. May you be glorified by it all.

worst day ever...or maybe not

This could be ranked right up there with one of the worst days in the history of my life...

Last night Sara was up all night coughing and throwing up...literally. Macee was up on and off all night crying from a sore throat. I get up in the morning and after getting ready to go I head out to the car...which won't start. So I pull out Sara's car to jump mine and of course it pops right off. I took off the cables, put them back in the trunk, put her car back in the garage and head back to my car...as soon as I get to the door...it stalls...won't start...

I then repeat the process mentioned above only this time I held my throttle open with a plastic spoon so it wouldn't stall again...it worked and I got to school...on time even.

At this point I must say I was pretty angry with God for having such a sucky night and morning. I mean come on it was barely 7:00am and it was already on track for one of the worst days of my life...and I wasn't even the one throwing up all night.

So on the way to work I just listened and prayed...

You're calling me to lay aside the worries of my day.
To quiet down my busy mind and find a hiding place.
Worthy, You are worthy.

I open up my heart and let my spirit worship Yours.
I open up my mouth and let a song of praise come forth.
Worthy, You are worthy.

Of a childlike faith and
Of my honest praise
Of my unashamed love
Of a holy life and of my sacrifice
Of my unashamed love

Lamont Hiebert

Suddenly all didn't seem to be as bad as I had convinced myself it was. He is my rock and in Him I take refuge...I find Him in my hiding place for He alone is worthy Of my unashamed love

I---like---big---bikes and I can not lie, you other...

here she is...2000 Suzuki Marauder

aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

things seemed to have finally calmed down a bit for us here in the thriving metropolis of BG. We have had some great family times the past several days and I have been refreshed.

The big Catalyst conference is next month down in Atlanta again. I had a great time last year and learned so much, but I am in a different place right now on my journey. I don't know if where I am right now will mesh with what we may hear down there in Atlanta...not that I'm right and they're wrong, but I don't know if the direction I am headed is the same as the direction they are hopeing to take us. There are some great speakers coming in this year like always, but I am just not looking forward to it at this point like I was last year. After last year I couldn't wait to come back to it, but now I'm not so sure if spending 3-4 days and thousands of dollars is such a good idea. After thinking about a lot of last year's conference, I am still amazed at the amount of marketing involved in pulling something like this off. On top of that you've got all of the sponsers and people coming in to show off their wares and make a buck. Just strikes me as overly commercial is all. Am I a prude??? maybe... Something about it just doesn't sit right with me...yet I continue to support the mass marketing, money making, comercialism that I also rail against at the same time. Yeah, I know I have issues...who doesn't?