It is amazing what saying no to a few things will do for your sanity!!!!

Not that I am a "yes sir, whatever you say sir, I can do that sir" kind of guy, but there are some good things that even have to be turned down. Like for tomorrow for instance...I turned down both a shock and strut job on a Ford Taurus, and a golf outing. Both of which give me at least a measurable quantity of pleasure, only one makes me money and other costs me money...
so I turned them both down...maybe next weekend, this one needs to be spent around the house with family and maybe even a few friends.

Still reading the purpose driven life and I'm just not getting much. It just seems that most of what I am reading is the stuff I have been kicked in the back side about for the past two years...I'm thinking to myself..."ok, ok I've got it already...let's move on to something else!!!" And even in the midst of that I understand that I need to be reminded daily about the simplicity of my life and the purpose to which I have been called. There have been many different "seasons" in my life and I don't know when the next major wheather pattern is coming, but I do know that I have to have my ears open and my eyes pealed so I don't miss it.

The past two days have been interesting...I shaved my head...Ok, I can admit it...I am going bald and I can't cover it up anymore...so I shaved it...1/8" on the back and sides, 1/4" on the top. The David Letterman "Island" is beginning to break away from the mainland(if you know what I mean) and I just couldn't stand the thought of me with a comb-over. What is even better is that I also bleached it...I definately have that "freaked out" look going on right now...I keep telling people that it'll grow on 'em, I hope I'm right.
After the bleaching was done tonight and the orange had faded into a much more natural bleached-out white, I was ready to get out of the house. My two girls and I went shopping. I picked up Sara's Mother's Day/Anniversary gifts and I even got a great deal on some shoes as my own Anniversary gift from Sara. Macee was a riot and we had a great time...I need more of that. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: It is times like these that I realize just how rich I am...

My life is still too busy...I don't know exactly how to deal with it, but things are busier now than they were before we moved to BG. I am not sure if I'm really on the road to simplicity or not...it sure doesn't feel like I am...

Well, two weeks after the leaking holding tank fiasco I finally got the new tank put in. I also got the chlorine pump working(at least so far it is). The sulfur is a little bit better, jury is still out on that, but I should know more in a day or two.

For the first year of leading worship I was super confident that I was exactly where I was supposed to be...now I'm not so sure. I have that unsettling feeling right now, but I don't know what that means for us. The barn thing is still in the back of my mind...obviously the music thing is still there along with the worship leading, but something else is supposed to be happening...
Maybe I am just supposed to be crawling up into the lap of Jesus to listen and to rest in his presence. We are starting the 40 days of purpose "campaign" this week and I am hoping that I can see through the "campaign-ness" of it and find some real depth to it. I suppose it will be my choice as to whether or not that actually happens.

Easter has come and I don't feel much like I have been living in His present risen-ness. I have not been living the empowered life I so desire. Being a true disciple of Christ takes discipline, hard work, and constant submission. I don't feel like that is describing a picture of my life right now which makes it hard to celebrate His kingdom come here in my life. The spirit it willing and the flesh is weak is a very accurate description of the way I feel. Yet in the midst of this funk, I have been recieving so much encouragement from others about the worship/music part of what I do. People are pleased with the results, but I'm not sure I can say the same thing of the One for whom all of this is being done...
Still struggling with my role in the church and the role the smaller community is supposed to be playing in the church. We start our 40 days of purpose next week and I look forward to the opportunity to see some of these things made clearer as we begin to ask the questions "what is the church?" and "what on earth am I doing here?"

Sara is also gone today which has given me some extra time to reflect. She is with her sister who is having her second child today via C-section. I have missed her even though it has only been a few hours. Her not being there this morning made it definately seem like something just wasn't right. I will be glad to see her tonight, as I know Macee will be as well.

As I spent more time with Macee this morning than on normal Sunday mornings and at times like these I see just how rich I really am...rich beyond measure...

I've had an interesting day...to say the least.

At 4:00am Sara and I woke up and couldn't help but notice a strong sulfur smell. Even worse than normal(which is just one more reason not to live in the country in Wood county).
I went down stairs to make sure nothing was on or leaking and went back up. A half hour later I went down in to the basement to find the holding tank for the chlorination system had sprung a serious leak...uh oh...I'm talking hydroblasting the paint off of the basement wall at 40-60psi.
so I shut off the water and called a friend in the morning. Thank God for friends that have similar systems out here in the boonies...after several failed attempts at both finding a new tank and repairing the old one we decided to bypass the tank and go straight to the softener. This isn't a big deal since the chlorine pump wasn't working anyway, so we took that off too. Insaine I tell you...
Finally around 4:00pm we had water again.
I guess it was good because I was forced to learn a little more than I wanted to about our system and it only cost me $3 and some change...and most of a Saturday...

I found out that there is another couple from the church live out this way. That makes 4 or 5 families. That could be the beginning of a growing community...

I have been pretty bogged down the past couple of weeks. It is my own doing...and that is just it...doing, doing, doing....

Way to much doing going on here has not allowed much time for simply...being....

This week is spring break, and it couldn't have come at a better time. I really needed this time to slow down and enjoy life, family, and friends. Since the move things just seemed to have been in a tail spin going in the polar opposite direction of where we were headed in our quest for simplicity. It is a constant struggle and battle. I don't anticipate it getting any easier, but at least I can tell when things just aren't right anymore, whereas before things may have gone on in that mode for 6 months or so before I would have realized the effects. Anyway...the quest for simplicity is back on...I long for it...but I long for a sense of community out here in the boonies too. I think there may be some chocolate chip cookies in our neighbor's future. We've got to get out and meet them soon since the weather seems to have broken. What better way than with cookies...

Cleaned out the garage this morning, only took me a fraction of the time I thought it would. Of course near the end I just started throwing things in the cabinets just to get them out of the way, but we have both cars, the motorcyle and the bicycles in the garage with plenty of room to spare. I am pleased as punch.

Talked to Lee and Dianne last week, our friends on the church plant in Amsterdam. It was good to hear that even in the foreign "mission field" it is difficult keep yourself of the mindset that life itself is ministry and not something extra you do only at certain times of the day or week. Lee opened up my imagination as to what we may be able to do with the barn...it will cost some money, but I want it to be used for His glory by building relationships, community, and discipleship with both believers and those that don't yet believe.
I don't know how, what or when, but I know God has something in store for this little community out here.