Alright, this is insane...4 snow days in 4 days...

I really hope we go back to school soon or we might not get done until July at this rate.

Well...back to work again, more cleaning and packing...

I am now enjoying my 3rd day in a row of snow days...what a life...I will never complain about this teaching gig. I love my job...not just because of snow days though...
It has been the perfect timing for Sara and I to get a ton of packing/cleaning done in preparation of the move coming up.

Well it appears that Macee is really becoming a prayer warrior because during these past several days off she stops us throughout the day just to "pay." Also while she was looking at her 'baby's first bible' tonight she pointed to a man and said "Jesus"...pretty cool.

I have tried the past couple of days to get in the habit of having some time of quiet and rest with the word and prayer in the morning...I have never been much on mornings, but I think this is going to be good for me. Time at the start of the day to center myself around the truth that I say I base my life on...I am trying not to get legalistic about it though, which is easy for me to do. I walk a fine line between legalism and lazyism....I am usually either one way or the other, not much inbetween.
Well the real test hasn't even come yet...We haven't had school yet on a day that I have gotten up. Could be a different story tomorrow. We'll see

Something cool happened the other night...we sat down to supper and Macee said "uh pay." Even a simple meal time prayer and she has already caught on to the ritual. I doubt she knows that we are giving thanks to our God, Savior, and Creator for providing for our needs, but my prayer is that she will learn those things as she watches Sara and I try to live out this Gospel story 'real time'


I am continually drawn to the fact that we still just aren't spending enough time with people that don't know Jesus. Work is good, and I love the interaction and relationships that have developed there, but I want more. I don't think we have any non-christian friends that would consider us their "good friends" yet...that just isn't good. You can't force relationships like that, but you can't swim a couple of laps if you never jump in the pool.

How can I be more like Jesus...how can we show the love of Christ to all people...in our home, at work, in other's homes....wherever we go?

This morning was the dedication of our "new" church building. It was nice and we had a great time with a great meal following, but I walk away now with a "so what?" resounding in my head. The emhasis seemed good in that there was much talk about the what we will do with the building and not just about the building itself.

On the same note, I had a conversaion with someone about all of this building stuff and the fact that we still expect people to come to us to be "ministered" to. All of our finances and "programming" is for the people that will enter our doors....pretty egocentric if you ask me....we'll help you out, but you need to come to us where we are first...

What are we doing for the community at large? What are we spending the bulk of our time and resources on.....things that will have eternal value or things to be applauded by men?

I was just telling an old friend that Sara and I often feel alone in all of this...we feel like we are being called into a radical transformation for a countercultural mode of Kingdom living...I don't know what that form will look like for us. I have seen what it looks like for others...this journey is a slow one...if it were too fast we would probably wig out and abandon ship.

I am ready to take a few more steps on this journey....I think this move will force us to do just that...

Well, this past week held quite a few significant events for us as a family.

On Thursday we accepted an offer on our house, Over the weekend we resigned ourselves to having to rent, Monday talked to a bank about a decent financing deal, Tuesday we were approved, Wednesday made an offer on a house in BG, Friday they accepted.

In one week He accomplished what we had been trying, praying, and hoping would happen for this entire past year. Again I am reasured that he has this all worked out. I don't just say that because we got into a great house...I say it because regardless of details of the plan it still all comes down to His divine providence. We are blessed...among the richest in the world...though our culture would take one look at us and say that we are strapped...we know we are rich beyond all measure.

I am overwhelmed by the fullness of our life...what more could anyone desire...

Lord may we continue to seek after You, living a simple life, loving those around us...

More from Newbigin...

...At the heart of the Christian message was a new fact: God had acted---and let us remember that the original meaning of "fact" is the Latin factum, "something done." God had acted in a new way that, if believed, must henceforth determine all our ways of thinking. It could not merely fit into existing ways of understanding the world without fundamentally changing them. According to Athanasius, it provided a new arche, a new staring point for all human understanding of the world. It could not form a part of any worldview except one of which it was the basis...

Does the factum of this act of God shape my entire way of thinking...has it changed my world view...???
Easy to say yes to those questions intellectually, but I want to know if the story of my life says the same things that my intellect would in response to these questions.

Do people around me even notice that there is something different about me? Is the love of Christ apparent enough in me that people can even see it? Do I even have any saltiness...is there any light coming from my life...? Will I allow the knowledge of this 'act of God' to form the very essence of my existence?

"Proper Confidence---faith, doubt & certainty in christian discipleship" by Newbigin is my latest read. I am trying to soak it in, but the guy is just deeeeeep. He lost me there for at least a couple of pages... even still a few things popped out at me.

The words 'Liberal' and 'funamentalist' are used today not so much to identify oneself as to label the enemy. From one side comes the accusation that the mind of the funamentalist is closed, shuttered against the possibility of doubt and therefore against the recognition of hitherto unrecongnized truth. From the other side comes the charge that liberals are so open to new ideas that they have no firm commitments at all, that every affirmation of faith must be held only tentatively, and that every dogma must, as a matter of principle, be challenged. There are terms of moral opprobrium that each side employs to attack the other: the fundamentalist is arrogant, blinkered, and culturally illiterate; the liberal is flabby, timid, and carried along by every new fashion of thought. From the point of view of the fundamentalist, doubt is sin; from the point of vew of the liberal, the capacity for doubt is a measure of intellectual integrity and honesty.

I think he describes here the battle being waged right now between the 'organized church' and the 'house church' movement. I hear the arguments from people on both sides of the exteem and the descriptions they give of each other are remarkably similar to what Newbigin describes. I hope we can somehow come to a meeting in the middle because both extreems are dangerous places to be. It is funny because I see myself on both sides of this continuum depending on the topic or the issue.

It looks like we may be finally on the road to BG...I am having mixed feelings about it because we accepted an offer on the house today that will yield us less out of the house than we put down on it 4 years ago. OUCH!!

Then I remembered that the One that worked all of this out isn't bound by our capitalistic western culture. He doesn't play by the same rules that we have set up for ourself here in comfortable Northwest Ohio. He has been working on us to let go and have a "loose grip" on things in this life, and yet that gets pretty tough when the rubber meets the road. We say we want to simplify and live for the Kingdom, yet that step from ideal to reality is quite a leap. I have't the slightest clue where we will live, but I know that this is all part of a plan that has been laid out before I was ever born....I have to rest in that knowledge....otherwise I might get a little nervous.

First day back at school today and although I was tired from staying up to watch LSU beat UO it was still a great day, seeing my students and co-workers was good for me.

I learned something today...something I already knew, but something that was made very clear to me(even more than before).
I could never work full time for a church(I've been saying that for quite some time and it continues to be proven to me over and over again).

I found out while on break from school that life without a job that forces me into contact with the world on a regular basis is no life at all. I was walking around the halls of school knowing that something was different than it had been for the past two weeks, but I just couldn't put a finger on it. I was glad to get back to work...and that isn't normal for me(not the work part but the 120 students part). It wasn't until tonight that I really started thinking about it and figuring out why.

While on break, I spent a lot of time with family(almost all of them believers) and friends from our church. Nothing is wrong with spending time with those folks, but something is wrong with it when that is all I do. If the extent of my contact with non-believers is at the grocery check out or at the gas station then there is a serious problem.
How can I show the love of Christ to this world if I never venture out into it long enough to meet people and find out what they need and what I can do to love on them.
I am walking around school thinking about how great it is to be in the midst of people that need a little salt and light in their lives. A hopeless generation is all around us and they won't know that there is any hope at all until they see the hope of Christ alive in someone they know.
Now I wish I was this excited about it everyday, but I hope and pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to remind me of my purpose. I am not here to build a comfortable life for myself and my family although I hope and pray that our needs are always met. I also hope and pray that our actual needs become more and more evident as we try and remove ourselves from the need to always have more, bigger, and better stuff.
My job isn't about a paycheck, notoriety, fame, success, prestige, or the corporate ladder(I don't think there are many of those things involved in a teaching career anyway), but my job is about being salt and light, meeting peoples needs, loving(even those who hate me), sacrificing for the good of those around me, and becoming the least of all so that they might see even just the slightest glimpse of who Jesus is.

Joel last month brought up a philosophy of his that no one should ever have to commit full time to a church...He is of the thinking that everyone should have some part time involvement in some secular work place or organization. Obviously we need to have health care and things of that nature and the church could provide those things along with a part time salary, but to remove ourselves altogether is a dangerous thing. Maybe not for everyone, but for me it certainly is. It stems partly from my frustration with how much man-power is required to maintain the church as an organization and how those things are largely left up to the "staff" to do. Uh oh, I think I might be teetering on venting right now...

I can't tell everyone else that they have to be poured into the same mold I am being poured into, but I do know that on this journey I have continually been challenged to re-everything I thought I knew about what and who church is and should be.
So meanwhile...I can't wait for work tomorrow.

Well, it's been a while and its late, but I should put a few things down before they fade off into the not so distant past.

The first service in our new building went very, very well. As I have said before I am trying not to get too caught up in the "NEW BUILDING" fever and forget why we are all really here, but it is a challenge.

Christmas Holiday was good. A couple of days with family and friends hit the spot, but we were soooo glad to get home. We love our house and the home that we have made it.

New years was good. Macee turned 2 on Dec. 31st and she was so much fun to watch. Her new stuffed "Bob the tomato" was getting quite a few hugs that day and her new tennis shoes had to stay on even while she napped. What a treat...she is a little miracle walking around and we love her beyond words.
Sara did such a good job shopping for her and getting her party together...what a great wife and mother...I suppose I should tell her that...I know I don't enough.
Why is it that we tell the people we love the most how much they mean to us the least?

We had a couple of people look at the house this week and one of them is coming back tomorrow to take a second look. I hope it finally happens...over a year on the market and I am ready to move...although that means I will have to do something about the Daytona on jack stands beside the garage. I guess it is time to get it put back together...I'm sure our neighbor would appreciate that.

I have kind of fallen off of the disciplined bus the past few weeks. Not having a set schedule since we are on break doesn't help matters, but that is a pretty lame excuse. I am amazed at how much my own spiritual condition effects the overall mood during our corporate times of worship. I have sucked lately and I know it...

'See the blaze that burns in me when I see You and You look at me O Lord
On You I meditate and as I think my soul it faints for You.
You are my drink, You are my feast,
You are my love, my soul's own King'
Charlie Hall

I want those things to be true of my relationship with Christ