This morning we talked about self-less living. Living a life characterized by loving others is a natural product of a pursuit of holiness...I hope my life begins to look like that.

We just got done starting what will be this family's first Christmas tradition. The Sunday after Thanksgiving we put up the tree and all of our decorations. Macee was having a ball helping us put things up and get things in place. I hope it will be the first of many with the three of us being a famliy together...one that will be a source of fond memories for us all.

Bitter sweet when we remember those we love that have gone on ahead of us to see Jesus face to face...even still we have enjoyed making all the new memories.

This is also the beginning of the first wrestling season since I stepped down as head coach last year. I thought I would have more of a struggle than I am having. As much as I know that those years were God's will for my life then...I am so glad to be done with that now. I just don't miss it and when I do I just think about the consuming nature of choaching that sport and that is tough to balance if there is anything else of much importance in your life. Coaching becomes your life...everything you do revolves around it and its demands on you. My abilities as a husband, father, teacher, friend, and now more recently worship leader took a major hit during the weeks leading up to the season and the season itself. Too much of a toll as I now look back on it...although as I said before, I know it was what I was supposed to be doing even though it was so demanding.

I wish I would have had this kingdom mindset all those years...I think I could have accomplished so much more had I been more focused on things that have eternal value. I am not the same person I was then...and that is a good thing...

Good Thanksgiving...glad to be back home though...I ate too much...you just can't turn down a good pumkin or mincemeat pie...I don't care how full you are.

Had a couple of good conversations with my brothers-in-law...they made me think through this 'I'm sick of the church' feeling I have been having. I ride the fence most times about where I would rather be...but then it isn't about what I would rather do or have...it is about my influence as a disciple of Christ whether I am in the 'church' or not.

Sometimes I just suck...I implore the church to change and become the 'true' church yet my own life is often lacking in the characteristics that a true disciple of Christ should have. During this time of year I often think of the poor. What do I do for the poor? Have I really made any sacrifices? How hard am I really looking for needs that need to be met? How can I meet the needs of the "least of these" if I don't leave the comforts of my home, work, and church? When I think about these questions I don't feel so well...sort of makes me sick

I am trying some stuff with kyser capo backward as a partial 3,4,5 capo. Trying to figure out some of the chords to make more cool combinations that are normally difficult a little easier. I just might try it soon...like lead worship with it...not just at home...it takes some time to change my brain so it's able to think of the chords in such a strange form. I have seen it done and talked about for some time now, but never really wanted to take the time to re-learn the stuff that has become second nature to me...but boy does it make stuff easier...I'm all about that.
Check this out too...

Our corporate gathering was good this morning. The practice before the meeting was one of the most rough practices I can remember. I did something different this time that I haven't done as of yet, but I think I will make it a common practice. We usually pray as a group before things get rolling and that is good and needed, but I haven't taken much time to get to a quite place myself and really lay myself before the throne of the King. It was a powerful time and that led to an empowering while leading that was not of me, but all Spirit
That was much needed...my flesh and bones has nothing to give unless the Spirit takes over and shows His strength in all my weaknesses.

The word this morning was about kingdoms and the choice we are all presented with daily to be a part of the Kingdom of the Living God...or the kingdom of the world which is essentially a kingdom set up and run by...me. Good stuff...which kingdom do I find myself most loyal to...which kingdom do I find myself most passionate about...which kingdom do I find myself defending most readily...which kingdom do I find myself living out while in the presence my family, my co-workers, my friends...

Or a better question...what would those who know me say...? What do they see in me? Am I just another person living as a slave to my own self constructed kingdom...or do I live for a Kingdom that calls me to become the least of all to become the greatest or to become last so as to become first. Am I seen as a fool by men...or am I seen as a fool by the Living God?
Good questions...I know what I want the answers to those questions to be...but...daily I have to die

I was tested with some leadership issues this week. I feel like the Spirit worked through me to begin a course of peace in an area full of conflict. Some of these things I would just rather not have to deal with, but I feel that a lot of the issues I dealt with in coaching for the past 7 years have been lessons learned specifically for the task I now find myself in. I am still coming into a place where I feel confident that God didn't screw up by putting me in this position.(as if God could screw up...but in my humaness I still sometimes question whether or not the Lord got the right guy)

Also...I still struggle with my position and role in the organized church. Sometimes I just want to run away, as hard as I can, from this type of organized 'church' environment. Sometimes I just want to start something new that doesn't look like what the world knows as the 'church'...something that doesn't have all of the negative connotations that go along with it. I guess for right now I am where I am supposed to be...unless the Lord tells me to go I will stay until either reform takes place or I get kicked out...which ever comes first.

I am reading Maxwell's The 17 Essential Qualities of a Team Player right now and there is some good stuff in there.

Things I need to be reminded of daily...whether with the worship band/crew, home with family, or at work with friends. These are more than just qualities of a team player...it is more like qualities of kingdom living.
We are on many different 'teams' in our daily lives, some we like being on and some we don't, but if we can be a team player...aka kingdom minded...then people will wonder what makes us tick. It is counter cultural. It is investing in others...without expecting a return...it is giving away influence...it is using my influence for the good of others not yourself...becoming selfless in a culture that is self-absorbed...it is about letting go of myself so the world lets go of me...it is about a loose grip and a light step in a world that loves to be anchored by things...it is about not taking myself too seriously when I am constantly told that it is all about me...all the time...

Lord help me to dispell the lie and live the truth...

I was thinking about Catalyst and thought I would right down some tid bits that I have been wrapping my mind around lately.
Rob Bell is the teaching pastor at Mars Hill Bible Church in Grandville, MI and is also involved in NOOMA, a spiritually themed short film project...amazing stuff, check it out.

Anyway...he had some things that got my attention at Catalyst

Salvation needs to move from:

a legal transaction--------to a way of life
the cross for us------------to the cross in us
forgiveness-----------------to restoration
someday--------------------to today
me----------------------------the entire universe
being saved----------------to being whole

Your job is the relentless pursuit of who God has called you to be.

Are you smoking what you're selling?

Is the church of Jesus Christ experiencing what it is calling the world to be a part of?

To change the subject...I have been asking questions of my co-workers in an attempt to deepen the conversation. Questions about them...what they think, how they feel, who they are. I want to learn more about them. I want to understand them. The past two days the question has been "why did you go into teaching?" tomorrow might be..."how did you meet your wife?"

I had another co-worker today ask "why are we here?" (meaning as teachers) and do we really make a difference...It lead to a great conversation. Opportunities to be salt and light are all around and I love it.

It came up the other day at work that we very rarely ever talk about anything with any meaning to it...other than just having fun...all the time.

It was a good conversation that lead to some teasing of one person in particular about his attempts to always, no matter what the subject, to keep it light.
This was a great topic of discussion because it will finally open some doors for me to ask some tough questions and get them thinking a little bit. They really aren't into contemplating life much because if they did they would see just how empty and meaningless life is without a savior.

Anyway...I look forward to more conversations that have that depth that I have been looking for in these relationships. Doors seem to be opening.

Also...we were talking about the "Church" and how anti-church most of them are, but they did say that if there was something on a Friday or Saturday night that was less like "church" that they might actually go. I don't know if this is a confirmation about this whole 'worship event/concert' or what, but I feel like maybe that would be heading in the right direction. I just wish there was something out there that I could invite them to that would have some depth to it, but not be so overtly "religious" so as to turn them off imediately.
I know it is all about relationships, but in this culture that is obsessed with entertainment we may have to entertain them in a way that can communicate a message through a medium they understand...music.
We'll see if anything develops here.

Another good week...everything from Pumkins smashed in our driveway to another Passion concert in Michigan.

The pumkin thing had me pretty irritated until I realized that there was an unscathed pumkin in the bunch...so I'm thinking..."hey a free pumkin out of this deal...awesome..."

There continues to grow inside of me a holy passion for knowing God and loosening my grip on the things of this world. The junk in this world has really screwed me up. You get caught up in this world and you start to make yourself think that it really is important when people smash pumkins in your driveway or when your house has been on the market for a year and nothing has happened. The world tells us to be concerned...panic...over react...flip your lid...worry...get angry...

I just keep telling myself and my students..."don't take yourself too seriously." I guess it is all about having an eternal mindset. If it has no significance in the grand scheme of eternity, then do I really need to have my panties all in a wad over this?
This is no easy task(I mean the eternal mindset part of it...not the panties...)

This is much easier said than done...but man is it full of peace when you are there.

Anyway...the passion concert was again...a most valuable time. My wife and I got to go up by ourselves on a "date" if you will(and even on a school night...Oooo...rebels) It just continues to shape my concept of worship and how I want to be able to use the sphere of influence I have in our worship band to educate people on what worship in spirit and in truth really is...and in turn, also what it isn't. To see the hearts of David Crowder, Charlie Hall and Loui Giglio and there passion for worship is an encouragement. Now just keep in mind when I refer to "worship" I am not just talking about music. I wish we had another term for it...the meanings we have assigned some of our "lingo" leaves much to be desired.

I ran into Joel Larson up there in MI. I need to get a hold of him and see if we can hook up bands along with H20(a college ministry at BGSU) and put together some big worship event. At least try to get some interest sparked...see people's response if we begin to comunicate to them in a medium they understand.

Great Sunday today...challenging...Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength...and your neighbor as yourself. So simple yet that is Kingdom living...that is the desire of my heart.